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鍛樺伐杈炶亴鎯崇寮€鐨勬槸浜猴紝涓嶆槸鍏徃

瀹為獙瀹よ祫璁綉鏃堕棿:2019-06-20 鐐瑰嚮: 娆?/span> 鐧惧害鎼滅储

銆愬璇汇€?/strong>鎴戜滑甯歌鍛樺伐杈炴帀宸ヤ綔鎴栫倰鎺夊叕鍙革紝浣嗗叾瀹炰粬浠倰鎺夌殑鏄瀵笺€?鍏徃涓嶄細鍋氫笉鍒╀簬浠栦滑鐨勪簨鎯咃紝鑰屼汉浼氥€?铏界劧鏈夋椂鍊欐槸鍚屼簨鐨勯棶棰樺鑷翠粬浠緸鑱岋紝浣嗘槸锛屼粬浠殑鐩存帴涓婄骇閫氬父鎵嶆槸鐪熸淇冧娇浠栦滑绂诲紑鐨勪汉銆?寰堝棰嗗鑳界粰鍛樺伐鐣欎笅涓嶉敊鐨勭涓€鍗拌薄锛岃繖涔熻寮€濮嬫柊宸ヤ綔鐨勫憳宸ユ洿鍔犱箰瑙傦紝浠栦滑甯屾湜椤哄埄寮€灞曟柊宸?.....
TAG鏍囩锛?鍛樺伐 鍛樺伐杈炶亴 杈炶亴

鎴戜滑甯歌鍛樺伐杈炴帀宸ヤ綔鎴栫倰鎺夊叕鍙革紝浣嗗叾瀹炰粬浠倰鎺夌殑鏄瀵笺€?/span>

“鍏徃”涓嶄細鍋氫笉鍒╀簬浠栦滑鐨勪簨鎯咃紝鑰?ldquo;浜?rdquo;浼氥€?/span>铏界劧鏈夋椂鍊欐槸鍚屼簨鐨勯棶棰樺鑷翠粬浠緸鑱岋紝浣嗘槸锛屼粬浠殑鐩存帴涓婄骇閫氬父鎵嶆槸鐪熸淇冧娇浠栦滑绂诲紑鐨勪汉銆?/span>

寰堝棰嗗鑳界粰鍛樺伐鐣欎笅涓嶉敊鐨勭涓€鍗拌薄锛岃繖涔熻寮€濮嬫柊宸ヤ綔鐨勫憳宸ユ洿鍔犱箰瑙傦紝浠栦滑甯屾湜椤哄埄寮€灞曟柊宸ヤ綔銆?/span>

浣嗘槸鏃堕棿涓€闀匡紝浠栦滑灏变細閫忚繃棰嗗浼鍑烘潵鐨勫亣璞★紝鐪嬫竻浠栦滑鐨勭湡闈㈢洰銆?/span>

鍛樺伐浼氬洜涓哄摢绫讳汉杈炶亴鍛紵

1

杞昏浠栦滑鐨勪汉

鎴戜滑閮藉枩娆㈠惉濂藉惉鐨勮瘽锛岄兘鎯冲緱鍒板埆浜虹殑璧炵編銆?/span>浣嗘槸锛屽緢澶氫汉鍦ㄥ伐浣滀腑涓嶄絾寰椾笉鍒拌禐璧忓拰璁ゅ彲锛屽弽鑰屼細琚交瑙嗐€?/span>濡傛灉鎴戜滑鐨勮€佹澘鐩涙皵鍑屼汉锛岄剻瑙嗙敋鑷充井杈辨垜浠紝灏变細缁欎汉闄呭叧绯伙紝鍖呮嫭宸ヤ綔鍏崇郴锛屽甫鏉ョ伨闅炬€у悗鏋溿€?/span>

鑻辫鍔犳嬁澶т綔瀹堕┈灏旂濮?middot;鏍兼媺寰峰▉灏旓紙Malcolm Gladwell锛夊湪銆婂喅鏂袱绉掗棿銆嬶紙Blink锛変竴涔︿腑鍐欓亾锛?/span>

浜洪檯鍏崇郴涓撳绾︾堪·楂樼壒鏇硷紙John Gottman锛夎兘澶熼€氳繃澶鍙屾柟鐨勮皥璇濆噯纭娴嬪嚭浠栦滑濠氬Щ鐨勭編婊$▼搴︺€?/span>

浠栫敤浠€涔堟寚鏍囨潵鍒ゆ柇濠氬Щ浼氬嚭鐜拌鐥曞憿锛?/span>

渚颈銆?/span>

濡傛灉澶涓€鏂规€绘槸渚颈鍙︿竴鏂癸紝濠氬Щ娉ㄥ畾浼氱牬瑁傘€?/span>

鎴戜滑涓嶅彲鑳芥彁鍗囨垜浠墍杞昏鐨勪汉鐨勪环鍊硷紒

濡傛灉鎴戜滑蹇冧腑娌℃湁灏婇噸锛屾垜浠氨涓嶄細灏婇噸鍒汉銆?/span>涓轰粈涔堬紵

鍥犱负鎴戜滑鍐呭績鐨勬兂娉曞繀鐒朵細琛ㄧ幇鍦ㄨ涓轰笂銆?/span>

鎹垜瑙傚療锛岄瀵间竴鏃﹁交瑙嗕笅灞烇紝灏变細鎿嶇旱浠栦滑銆佺墿鍖栦粬浠紝涓嶅皧閲嶄粬銆?/span>棰嗗杩欐牱鍋氭槸缁濆涓嶅悎閫傜殑銆?/span>

閭d箞锛屾湁浠€涔堣В鍐冲姙娉曞悧锛?/span>

鍙戠幇鍛樺伐鐨勪环鍊硷紝琛ㄨ揪鍑轰綘瀵逛粬浠殑娆h祻銆?/span>

棰嗗閫氬父鍠勪簬鍙戠幇涓€涓満閬囨垨涓€鍦轰氦鏄撲腑鐨勪环鍊笺€?/span>鍦ㄥ寰呭憳宸ユ椂锛屼粬浠篃闇€瑕佹湁绫讳技鐨勮兘鍔涳紝鍙戠幇涓嬪睘鐨勪环鍊硷紝骞剁О璧炰粬浠殑璐$尞銆?/span>

浠栦滑涔熻閫氳繃鍒堕€犱骇鍝佹垨鎻愪緵鏈嶅姟涓哄鎴疯础鐚簡浠峰€硷紝涔熻涓哄叕鍙哥殑鎬讳綋浠峰€煎仛鍑轰簡璐$尞锛屼篃璁搁€氳繃鎻愰珮鍚屼簨鐨勭哗鏁堣础鐚簡浠峰€笺€?/span>

濡傛灉浣犺兘鎵惧埌浠栦滑鍊煎緱琚璧忕殑鍦版柟锛屼粬浠氨浼氬洜涓轰负浣犲伐浣滆€屾劅鍒版鎱般€?/span>

2

涓嶅€煎緱淇′换鐨勪汉

浣?/span>鏈夋病鏈夎窡鑷繁涓嶄俊浠荤殑浜轰竴璧峰伐浣滆繃锛?/span>閭g鎰熻鑲畾寰堥毦鍙椼€?/span>娌′汉鎰挎剰鍜岃嚜宸变笉淇′换鐨勪汉涓€璧峰伐浣溿€?/span>

鐒惰€岋紝鏇煎交鏂壒椤鹃棶鍏徃鐨勪竴椤硅皟鏌ユ樉绀猴紝鑱屽満淇′换搴﹀湪鏃ユ笎闄嶄綆銆?/span>浠栦滑鍙戠幇锛?span style="font-weight: 700;">棰嗗鍦ㄥ伐浣滀腑鍑虹幇浠ヤ笅闂鏃跺緢蹇氨浼氬け鍘讳笅灞炵殑淇′换锛?/span>

1锛夎█琛屼笉涓€鑷?/span>

2锛夊皢涓汉鍒╃泭缃簬鍥綋鍒╃泭涔嬩笂

3锛夐殣鐬掍俊鎭?/span>

4锛夋拻璋庢垨璇磋瘽鍗婄湡鍗婂亣

5锛夋€濇兂淇濆畧

棰嗗鍜屼笅灞炰箣闂翠俊浠诲叧绯荤殑鐮磋濡傚悓闀滃瓙鐮磋涓€鏍枫€?/span>鐢ㄧ煶澶寸牳闀滃瓙锛岄暅瀛愬氨浼氱牬纰庛€?/span>

灏界鏈夊彲鑳介粡濂芥崱鍥炵殑鎵€鏈夌鐗囷紝浣嗛暅瀛愯繕鏄湁瑁傜棔銆?/span>瑁傜棔瓒婂锛岄暅鍍忓氨瓒婃壄鏇层€?/span>鍚岀悊锛岀己灏戜俊浠伙紝浜洪檯鍏崇郴鐨勮鐥曞氨闅句互寮ュ悎銆?/span>

鍙﹀锛岃皟鏌ヤ篃琛ㄦ槑锛屼互涓嬫槸棰嗗鍩瑰吇鍛樺伐瀵瑰叾淇′换鐨勫嚑绉嶆渶浣虫柟娉曪細

1锛変繚鎸佹鐩?/span>

2锛夊潶璇氬湴浜ゆ祦鎰挎櫙鍜屼环鍊艰

3锛夊皧閲嶅憳宸ワ紝灏嗕粬浠綋鎴愬钩绛夌殑鍚堜綔浼欎即

4锛夊皢鍏卞悓鐩爣缃簬涓汉鐩爣涔嬪墠

5锛変笉椤句釜浜哄緱澶卞仛姝g‘鐨勪簨鎯?/span>

浣滀负棰嗗锛屽缓绔嬪拰缁寸郴淇′换浜嬪叧姘旇妭鍜屾矡閫氥€?/span>濡傛灉浣犱笉鎯宠鍛樺伐绂诲紑浣狅紝浣犺濮嬬粓濡備竴銆佸潶璇氬湴淇′换浠栦滑銆?/span>

3

鑳藉姏涓嶈冻鐨勪汉

鎴戝父甯稿惉鍒颁汉浠姳鎬ㄤ粬浠殑涓婂徃涓嶆槸濂介瀵笺€?/span>涓嶇鏄伐鍘傝溅闂寸殑宸ヤ汉銆侀攢鍞€佷腑灞傜粡鐞嗐€佽繍鍔ㄥ憳锛岃繕鏄織鎰胯€咃紝姣忎釜浜洪兘甯屾湜鑷繁鐨勯瀵兼湁鑳藉姏鑳滀换宸ヤ綔銆?/span>棰嗗澧炲己鍛樺伐淇″績渚濋潬鐨勬槸鑳藉姏鑰屼笉鏄瓍鍔涖€?/span>

鏃犺兘鐨勯瀵间細鍒嗘暎鍥㈤槦娉ㄦ剰鍔涳紝娴垂鍛樺伐鐨勭簿鍔涳紝濡ㄧ鍛樺伐瀵逛簬涓昏浜嬪姟鐨勫叧娉ㄣ€?/span>

濡傛灉涓嬪睘鑳藉姏寰堝己锛屽氨浼氭媴蹇冮瀵间細涓嶄細鎶婂伐浣滄悶鐮革紱濡傛灉涓嬪睘鑳藉姏寮辨垨缁忛獙涓嶈冻锛屽氨涓嶇煡閬撹鍋氫粈涔堝伐浣溿€?/span>

杩欎袱绉嶆儏鍐典腑锛屽憳宸ュ伐浣滄晥鐜囬兘浼氶檷浣庯紝姝h兘閲忎篃鏃犱粠浜х敓銆?/span>

鏃犺兘鐨勪笂绾ф棤娉曢暱鏈熼瀵艰兘鍔涘己鐨勫憳宸ャ€?/span>銆婇瀵煎姏21娉曞垯銆嬩腑鐨?ldquo;灏婇噸娉曞垯”璁や负锛?/span>“鍛樺伐浼氳嚜鐒跺湴灏婇噸姣斾粬浠己鐨勯瀵笺€?/span>棰嗗鑳藉姏涓?鍒嗭紙10鍒嗘弧鍒嗭級鐨勫憳宸ヤ笉浼氭湇浠庨瀵艰兘鍔涗负4鍒嗙殑棰嗗銆?/span>浠栦滑浼氳緸鑱屻€佽烦妲斤紝鍘绘壘鑳介瀵间粬浠殑浜恒€?/span>

4

娌℃湁瀹夊叏鎰熺殑浜?/span>

棰嗗閲嶈鍛樺伐銆佹鐩淬€佹湁鑳藉姏锛屽憳宸ュ氨涓€瀹氭効鎰忚拷闅忓悧锛熺瓟妗堟槸鍚﹀畾鐨勶紝鍗充究棰嗗鍏峰浜嗚繖浜涚礌璐紝杩樻湁涓€涓洜绱犲彲鑳戒細灏嗗憳宸ヨ刀璧?mdash;—棰嗗娌℃湁瀹夛紒鍏紒鎰燂紒

鍒ゆ柇棰嗗鏈夋病鏈夊畨鍏ㄦ劅寰堝鏄擄細

缂轰箯瀹夊叏鎰熺殑棰嗗瀵规潈鍔涖€佽亴浣嶅拰浠栦汉璁ゅ彲鐨勬鏈涘彲鑳藉鍖栦负鎭愭儳銆佺寽鐤戙€佷笉淇′换鎴栧珘濡掞紝浣嗘湁鏃惰〃鐜板緱鐩稿闅愯斀銆?/span>

浼樼鐨勯瀵间細鍋氬埌浠ヤ笅涓ょ偣锛氬煿鍏诲叾浠栭瀵硷紝宸ヤ綔鍑鸿壊銆?/span>

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浠栦滑甯屾湜棰嗗甯姪浠栦滑鍙戞尌娼滃姏锛岃幏寰楁垚鍔熴€傚鏋滀粬浠涓洪瀵兼洿鍦ㄦ剰缁存姢鑷繁鐨勬潈濞併€佷繚鎶よ嚜宸辩殑鑱屼綅锛岄偅涔堜粬浠渶缁堜細鍘绘姇濂斿叾浠栭瀵笺€?/p>

瀵瑰叕鍙歌€岃█锛屾渶绯熺硶鐨勪簨鎯呮槸娴佸け浼樼鐨勫憳宸ャ€?span style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">鍑虹幇杩欑鎯呭喌锛屼笉瑕佸綊鍜庝簬鍏徃銆佺珵浜夈€佸競鍦烘垨缁忔祹褰㈠娍锛?/span>瑕佸綊鍜庝簬棰嗗

涓嶈蹇樿锛?span style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">鍛樺伐杈炶亴涓嶆槸鍥犱负鍏徃锛?/span>鑰屾槸鍥犱负浜猴紝濡傛灉鎯崇暀浣忔渶浼樼鐨勪汉鎵嶏紝甯姪鍏徃瀹屾垚浣垮懡锛?/span>绠$悊鑰呭氨瑕佹垚涓烘洿浼樼鐨勯瀵?/span>

涓嶇浣犳槸鍝竴灞傜骇鐨勯瀵硷紒

锛堟湰鏂囨潵婧愶細娴欐睙浜烘皯鍑虹増绀?锛?

(璐d换缂栬緫锛氬瓙璞?

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TAG鏍囩锛?鍛樺伐 鍛樺伐杈炶亴 杈炶亴
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